It had been a very long day. A day full of rain and cancelled plans and two whiny girls. A day where we made the best out of a frustrating situation but I was still feeling disgruntled. Oh, I pretended to be a good example and go with the flow, but inside I was terribly aggravated. I may have also been PMS’ing. That doesn’t help. In spite of all that, I did so well faking cheer all day long — so well! Then came bed time. Normally Daniela is a great bed time, on time kind of kid. Never tries to pull all the crap I did when I was her age. But not this particular night. Of course, on the night when I most needed them to fall asleep quickly and give me a little time with a book and a glass of wine, they take advantage. That was the phrase of bed time — taking advantage.

First, they needed to pee. Fine.

Then they needed water. Fine.

Then it was too hot. Fine.

Then it was too dark.

I marched into that bedroom and lectured the girls on taking advantage of me. I proceeded to list every transgression they committed AFTER I had already let them stay up past bedtime. I felt my composure slipping so I told them I would come back in 5 minutes. Well, 5 minutes later I felt terrible. I hate getting after them — especially before bedtime. Bedtime is such a special time in our home filled with love and whispers and dreams. I went upstairs ready to apologize, but they beat me too it. They were so remorseful and sad and really owned their mistakes. I kissed my little angels and told them all was well and forgiven.

Then they asked for a snack.

omg. you can’t be serious.

They got their snack, and ate in silence while I lectured again.

Ten minutes later I went back upstairs and shamefully apologized. It was so humbling. The girls went to sleep that night with God only knows what flitting around in their little heads and I went to sleep feeling like an awful mother.
The next morning I woke up to the girls laying something next to me. They scooted out of the room quickly as I stirred, shutting the door behind them. I opened my eyes remembering the bedtime fail and vowed to do better today. Well,  the guilt I felt the night before was nothing compared to the guilt I felt after finding this:

There were 5 cards total. F I V E. I felt just awful!

Truth be told, I keep this particular card — the first of the five — on my bathroom counter as a daily reminder not to be that parent. Kids; they teach us so much.